A life without love is like a year without summer ~ Swedish Proverb

Plan: Girls Night Out

With the influx of social networking platforms, online dating has become a common channel for meet new people and establishing relationships. Sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and Myspace have allowed men and women to gain some insight into a person’s character before getting to far with them. Twitter offers a play by play of one’s thoughts and activities. Facebook, allows you to post all recent events, people have the ability to follow and see what, where, and with whom you have been out and about, the types of places you go, the sort of events you attend; as is the same with twitter. However, we often fail to acknowledge the amount of dishonesty that plays into these platforms as well. Fake profiles, fake names, and ages, in some cases even gender. However, online dating has become a widely accepted norm, with a few still believing in the stigmas that surround it. So, why do these stigmas continue? Why do people still fail to fully condone online relationships? The creation of “Dateline: To Catch a Predator” aired on American channel NBC, offers the perfect explanation.  The show begins with recording internet chats with “undercover” individuals, posing as minors younger than 16. The men, who attempt to meet “the children” in person, would be intercepted by the host and questioned about the explicit chat and attempted meeting.  This rather disturbing show reminds us to be weary of what people acclaim to be the truth on their profiles versus the reality.

Finally a sunny afternoon inLondon, the solace of music heard through my headphones as I walked passed Holborn tube station. As I was about to cross the street I had noticed a man looking at his phone, and then looking up and around. “He must be lost”, I thought (with a familiar grin of having been in that position). As I approached him, he stopped me. I thought I could try and help the lad find his way. My mistake! He wanted to “help me”.  This inconspicuous lad trapped me into listening to his 10-15 minute shpeel about ‘glamour shots’, ruining my moment of solitude! His offer began with a makeover, I was instantly offended, it was one of those “What did you just say to me?” reactions, but he continued. A hair-do, make-up, massage, some champagne followed by a photo shoot with three wardrobe changes. “All for the discounted price of £40 pounds for you and a friend!” I won’t even try to lie at this point; it was a good offer the massage was especially tempting, the rest of it seemed pointless to me really. What was I going to do with a stack of professional pictures of myself? Paste them on facebook? I think not.  I left agitated by his persuasion, and he stood irritated with another failed attempt. He did leave me thinking. I thought of several of my friends who have had professional pictures taken. Although, with them the situations have always been rather different, it’s usually some photographer friend, designer friend, or some artsy friend who needed a model for the shoot. A believable story perhaps, but is there something more to it?

We women often complain about “all the good guys either being taken or gay”. Yet, the fault is largely ours. We tend to forget that we actually do get a great say in the people we date. Women aim to pick the bad boys, and then complain that they are bad?! If by chance we do start dating the nice guys, they don’t tend to stick around for very long. Why? Why do we keep doing this to ourselves and to the nice guys? What ends up happening?

• Stress – Like with most medical conditions, stress can often play a huge role in causing an imbalance, and consequent a lower libido.

• Levels of oestrogen- Change in hormone levels have a tremendous impact on sexual desires. Women how have recently given birth, or breastfeeding can often experience vaginal dryness for the loss of oestrogen during these bodily changes. However it can also be a cause of excessive levels of oestrogen.

• Medication- Certain medications, such as; allergy and cold medicines which contain antihistamines and asthma medications can cause dryness within the body and hence result in vaginal dryness. It has also been noted that radiation received during chemotherapy can cause vaginal dryness.

• Lack of sufficient foreplay: One of the most common reasons for vaginal dryness can be associated with lack of sufficient foreplay or intimacy. Women who have been noted to lack any solid connection with a sexual partner can exhibit signs of vaginal dryness. Likewise, women whose sexual partners attempt to forgo the foreplay will often not reach vaginal lubrication and as a result make sex a painful and uncomfortable experience.

Sex had once been considered a taboo. Sexual health, fantasies, and experiences were never  discussed in a public forum. Yet, now sexual activities are discussed on a daily basis either with friends, doctors, colleagues, or partners. An act that was once recognized as a necessity for procreation has almost entirely lost that notion. Nowadays, sex is recognized as a pleasurable act and natural act, largely accepted by societies across the globe. However, there remain some boundaries as to where, when, how, and with whom sex is discussed or conducted. The increasing liberal mind-set attempts to remain conservative in front of others.

Having been raised in a house where my mother worked full-time, in a highly demanding career, I have become unconsciously aware of the pressure that she must have encountered balancing the two jobs she held. One of my very first memories is crying on my way to pre-school in the morning as I had wanted my mother to drop me off rather than going with my nanny. However, the demand of her having to reach work on-time prevented her from soothing her daughter’s cries. Although, I was too young at the time to understand the difficult position I had placed “Mama” in; looking back I now regret my childish outburst. As I grew older I became accustomed to my mother’s often absence from home, at sports games, and parent/ teacher conferences. Although I maybe sounding resentful the reality is far from it, she had once attended one of my football matches in which her screaming my name throughout the match was more of an embarrassing distraction than a welcomed one! The parent-teacher conferences was never a sore point, as I was never very good in school, and preferred my teacher not remind my mother of that fact. Likewise, her absence at home was also a welcomed break; being left alone with my siblings, we not only felt like we had the freedom to do what we wanted, but it brought about greater life lessons that I would never replace.

I have had several conversations with my male friends, and equally as many quarrels with ex’s about what women want? This old age question has perhaps dampened several more relationships than it has aided. Mel Gibson’s famous movie “What women want” aimed a bringing some insight into the thoughts and feelings of women, yet remained far off the charts. The only accurate point that could be drawn from that movie was perhaps, that how women act and say towards somebody, may not be exactly what they are thinking or feeling. Nonetheless, I’ll aim at busting five of the common myths men have about women:

“Every minute a woman dies due to pregnancy- or childbirth-related causes, which adds up to more than half a million women a year or more than 10 million women over a generation. And for every woman who dies, there are at least 20 others who are left with chronic health problems following pregnancy or childbirth, due to the lack of professional care.”

Upon the daily routine of turning on your computer first thing in the morning and logging into facebook to get the update on various news, relating to friends and the world. I stumbled upon a headline that read,  “Ashley Judd Slaps Media in the Face for Speculation over her ‘Puffy’ Appearance”, an article that had been publicized in the daily beast. Knowing I had to write a blog, I began reading various articles to pick a topic, seeing various news articles relating to Ashley Judds’ blowout, I decided to inquire into the story.